While many people have been blogging for quite some time, I have been reluctant to begin putting my thoughts out there for people to read. It is rather scary to have those who do not know you reading your thoughts and moments in your life. But I have decided to put those fears aside and dive in feet first as I make my way into the unknown. Events of the past week have had me thinking and those thoughts have led me to blogging. Writing as always been my outlet...my catharsis. So in times of stress, excitement and despair I turn to what I know and that, is writing.
Last week I was attending a conference in Deer Valley, Utah. I boarded the plane very reluctant to attend. Why? A myriad of reasons, really. I hate leaving my family for more than one night, especially being on the other side of the country. With multiple family members suffering with various forms of cancer, being 1800 miles and 6 plus hours on a plane to get home, you are afraid of getting "that" call.
Our first event was an opening dinner with all of the attendees. Dinner was fabulous even by conference standards. The presentation after dinner was insightful, touching and at points down right hilarious. But after being up since 4 am, I had reached the point in which I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer. I was looking forward to crawling into bed.
After feeling like I just fell asleep, I was startled by the phone in the room ringing. Fear washed over me as I stumbled across the room. My thoughts went to my family and I was certain it was going to be "that" call. My trip would be forever changed when I answered the phone.
In his most serious tone, my boss said, "You need to get to the lobby, now" Knowing him the way I do, when he says now you don't question, you just do what he says. So as I fumbled to find my clothes, my mind was racing with all the different scenarios that would need me to go to the lobby at midnight. As I head down the stairs, a small group of people collected, whispering to each other. Again, my mind races.... I am met with the words that will be forever a part of me. "Tonight, after going to his room, Greg passed away."
Never do you think you will hear those words at a conference. Conferences at the worst are just supposed to be boring and a complete waste of time. Never are they supposed to be a place to mourn a friend and a colleague. Most shocking was I spent time with him after dinner. I watched as his eyes lit up as he discussed what he was working on for a campaign. It was a great conversation. I giggled as he talked, because I had never seen anyone get so excited talking about a project like Greg. But that was Greg, he loved his work.
Greg was 59, but apparently had the heart of an 80 year old man. According to his wife, it wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when. When came Monday night....shocking those closest to him.
Even though I knew Greg, I was honestly surprised by how little I really knew Greg. Others at the conference would ask how old he was, if he had a wife or children. I am embarrassed and frankly ashamed to say I didn't have an answer to these questions. These are simple questions really. We think we know those who are around us. But do we really know them? Honestly?
I have learned several lessons from Greg's passing. First, God is working in everything. I knew this before the trip but I was reminded again that night. He was in control of this situation and for whatever reason He decided to call Greg home. Second, I have learned that I need to take more time to learn about those around me, to be able to answer those simple questions at least. And, lastly, I have learned that we can't take any moment for granted. Life is but a vapor and then we are gone. When Greg walked out of his door that morning, little did his wife know it would be the last she would see him. So we need to make the most of the time we have while we are here. Don't let that chance to tell someone you love them or that you care go by, you may never have it again.
